.emotional detachment is the key to having successful human relationships.

I've got loads of issues running through my mind.About me.you.him.her.the past.the present.and the ever looming future.I realized that to a large extent, I have moved on.But, when it comes to trusting the opposite sex, I feel the need to be skeptical.So that comes to the crucial point, have I really moved on? In terms of feelings, I have. In terms of having another relationship, yes. But, in terms of trusting the other party, the answer would be not really or no would be a more direct answer I guess. I've had enough of broken promises, sweet nothings and what nots. What I would really appreciate would be the truth and nothing but the truth.

Met up with Gwen nn Friday Night for some acid bar-ing time. Music was not as fantastic as the previous time but there were a few good songs. It was a good meet-up for much need-ed issues before the year draws to a close. I realized that Gwen and I may be quite different in many ways but when it comes to certain issues we really think alike, issues such as relationships and friendships and trust and moremoremoremoremore. Met someone after that, and that has also set me thinking.Should I be emotionally detached?

Babe, I know its gonna be tough.But no one ever said that its gonna be easy either.Life's like a mountain. The higher you climb, the stronger the storms and the bigger the obstacles. Just remember that no matter how complex things can ever be, just remain true to yourself and what you have always believed in. Remember that I'll always be right behind you, to catch you when you stumble and fall.

As for me, I have decided that love is not that important after all. I mean, I have always thought that for a relationship to flourish, love is the most essential factor but now my thoughts have changed a little. I rather be with him because I know that he'd never cheat on me. Because I know he would never hurt me intentionally. You might say that I'm crazy for being so certain especially since I have also always said that life's unpredictable and that there are no guarantees. But you know what? For once, I am just gonna deviate from my usual train of thought and do what I feel like doing. He said he's willing to give me time and it doesn't matter if I don't love him now because he knows that someday, in someway, I will begin to love him and that's enough for him. He's one of the very few guys I have ever met who he treats me with total respect and is super honest to me. To me, 2 things are important to me while being in a relationship. Number 1:Trust.Number 2:Love. But it all boils down to me right now. No matter what I have been saying, can I really be with someone I don't have that kinda feelings for? As for the people I have liked or like, I don't have that assurance or rather that comfort feeling that he will remain true to me. Being cheated on once was more than enough and I don't need you to join the list. So FUCK off. Thanks.

But, does it all matter now? I'm just gonna work hard, party harder and get to know more people. I know this is so not me.But, who cares? My life, I live it. Whether you like it or not, I don't care.Because you never mattered or so I'm telling myself. No matter how difficult its gonna be, I am going to try and be emotionally detached. Simply because emotional detachment is the key to having successful relationships. Whether I can be emotionally detached is but yet another issue because people who know me, will know that I am very sentimental and soft-hearted. But, I am gonna try to be as detached as I can because I don't want to present you with an opportunity to hurt me.ever again.

And from that day, I realized that I can never trust you and true enough, I never can.

goodbye.

p/s: thanks for the much needed talks, especially to Gwen, Lisa, Kumar and Melissa's group. The group that feels like my parents because they care too much. But at least I know that no matter what happens, they will stay behind and clear the mess with me, when I know that you would never stay.

Goodbye.

It felt so good to cry.And let it all out.Its been 2years and 9 months since "us" became just you and me, and not "us" anymore. With the year drawing to a close I have been thinking too much about what could have been if "us" had still existed. I have forgiven but I have not forgotten.And by not forgetting, I have become numb and unfeeling towards emotions.How ironical.

I know I have to clear everything that reminds me of "us" and though I have not gotten around to doing so, I have made a promise, a promise to myself, that I will clear everything, every single fragment of everything that reminds me of "us" before the year draws to an end.This is a promise.
Yesterday, a message got deleted not by me, but by someone else.I wanted to delete another one today but I could not find that phone.The phone that holds an ocean of memories.

Thanks for the shoulder and thanks for you being you by simply just being there.
Much appreciated.

Enough of the past because now I'm looking forward to my future.The future without you.
Goodbye.

Goodbye and keep cold.

I don't know where to start.At the beginning. At the end.Or don't start at all. In my previous entry I mentioned that human relationships will always be complicating and that it will always be better to keep a safe but not so significant distance from people. Practice what you preach you all say. But one of the most difficult things to do in life is to practice exactly what you preach. I have let my guard down time and time again. The walls were brought down and my defenses were low. I should have known better than to let my guard down and allow new people to know the inner me. The innocence of friendship. Tainted? I don't know and to a small extent I wonder if i should really care because it hurts to lose a friend, a good one at that. But it all doesn't matter anymore right? Because I can't turn back time and neither can you.

And now.
This friendship has gone down the drain.
Because both you and I know that things will never be the same ever again.
I hope this makes you happy.

Goodbye and keep cold.