whathurtsthemost.

Its been a rollercoaster of emotions.Mind boggling, heart wrenching and emotions swirling moments for the past few months. I am tired. Truly tired. I don't think I can go on further. And even if I do manage to stumble through, my legs will give way soon. Because I am tired. I truly am. This journey has been emotionally draining and I just want to let go without truly wanting to let it all go. I guess thats life as we all say when we encounter situations like that. Its ok to be HB as Gwen once said.And though I keep telling myself that, I just cannot seem to pick myself up totally and just move away. Because each time I try, I fall. Harder. Deeper.All over again. Well, I guess I just gotta wait and see where all this ends.

its ok to be HB.right.

Rascal Flatts-What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

Wake me up.

I am stupid.Slap my face and wake me up to reality.

Ending a relationship is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream." "We cannot beg someone to stay if they want to leave and be with someone else. We have to admit that love doesn't give us the license to own a person. This is what love means...sacrifice.""Often times we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesnt mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you.""Some people say the worst way to miss someone is when they are right next to you and you know you can't have them, but it's worse when you thought you didn't want them anymore and then all of a sudden you realize you can't live without them.""Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you.""A failing love is like desperately hanging on to something precious; not wanting to give up, but your hands feel the pain.And, when you finally let go, you're free from any pain, but your hands are empty.""How can I promise you forever when tomorrow is so far away from me?How can I dry your tears when I have a bleeding heart inside of me? How can I ever forget you when your name is etched so deep within me?""They say no matter how dark the night is, the sun always rises again ... I say lost love makes one realize that no matter how bright the day is,the sun will always set again.""A heart breaking isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding.. Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling.. And the most painful thing is, no one really hears it, except you..""Who do you run to when the only person who can make you stop crying, is exactly the one who is making you cry?" ( Taken from Gordan's friendster)

Goodbye.

I really have to thank Gwen for being there especially yesterday and today. You are my rock of support too. I heart you many many babe. Its been an mindbogglingheartwrenchingemotionsswirling kinda journey for the past few weeks. Sometimes I wonder if all this is worth it because you make it seem that I have always been saying the wrong things and hence you end up getting hurt. But, honestly you leave me confused every time you speak. Maybe, and just maybe I shouldn't ask for much and just let you be because sometimes, somethings are just never meant to be. And maybe, like you have said, I have hurt you. But now, it depends on you to tell me if this is important to you. But if it isn't, then I guess I don't know what else to say. Goodbye.

Because Of You
I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you