...

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

*i remember singing this song with Bry,Shal and the rest.Some songs have this effect of bringing me back into the past where i was always happy even though things were not going the way i wanted them too.Wouldn't life be perfect if things keep going the way we want them too? I have pondered about that and honestly if things went the way i want them too esp in the past,i wouldn't be the carefree person that i am right now.i'm not exactly sure on what is the purpose of this entry but short to say i'm rather confused or maybe confused is not the right word to describe the swirling emotions that i have within me."When everything seems like the movies,Yeah you bleed just to know your alive"

Undecided

Everyone's apply for Uni and I guess im gonna leave it to the last minute because too many thoughts are swimming in my head.I'm pretty confused but i suppose i'll just let things fall into place and hopefully everything will be fine like what my ntu friend(k) keeps saying.Thanks a million for the long talk on the day before the results and also for constantly encouraging me.everthing is much appreciated :) study hard ok?exams around the corner.Went for SIM open house y'dae with Kai Li,Pei Chi, Lindsay, Gwen and Cheryl.Realised that im interested in alot of courses but the sad thing is that courses under SIM uni is catered to working adults and hence is part-time only.But the food there was cheap and nice :)haha. After SIM,Pei Chi came over.Slacked for awhile and went to tiong bahru to watch The Pursuit of Happyness with sister and Pei Chi. Pei Chi lost $48 by the way and for those kaypohs who wanna know why/how call me or her ok?coz the story is kinda long.lol.anyways,just wanna say thanks a million to all the peeps who have been giving me sound advice and motivation to pursue my dreams.love ya lots :)

To B2: miss ya too,don't play too much mahjong ok?




"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"-Mark Twain-

a short update

Its been months since i've blogged.About 8 months plus to be more exact.The A levels was shitty and it was especially so for the history paper i personally feel.But well,results will be out tomorrow and there's nothing much or rather NOTHING more that i can do now to save myself.As for updates as to what i've been doing after A's,I've been working for Nokia as a customer executive officer someone who is in charge of handling customer relations.Its been a great few months,made a couple of extremely good friends,people whom i'll treasure that i'm sure.Yesterday was my last official day at work, and hence to celebrate the friendship that was forged among all of us,there was a party at MOS.No doubt the work was somewhat tiring and some customers were bitchy but it was a experience that i would never forget.I've learnt alot,both good and bad.Just before i go,some pictures of the people who've made my day in one way or another for the past few months,and also some pictures of what i've been up to after the A's.anyways good luck to all those getting results tomorrow :) with love.






.
.

love.love.

Ok.Ok.I admit I am lazy.Simply too tired to even update my blog. SMUN 2006 wasn't bad at all. In actuality, it was GREAT. Had superly greatly funnily memories and moments with my fellow innovians and other peeps.Short and sweet...FANTABULOUS!it was one of the best conferences that I've have ever attended...Seriously,i went there without much of a hope.But,i was wrong.Totally wrong. The peeps from WHO made it all possible.Not forgetting my fellow J2's (Gwen,Kai Li & Judith) who were with me throughout.To the J1's, it was a great time getting to know you guys better.

.expectations.

Maybe its because I expect too much.Or.Maybe its because you can't keep your word.Hope has always been the first step leading towards disappointment.Is it wrong to always want the best for you?Is it wrong to stop you from getting hurt?Is it wrong to keep you from falling further? Tell me my friend.Tell me.I want the best for you. I want to stop you from getting hurt. I want you to pick yourself up and have the will to live life for yourself again.So, tell me my friend, what should I do?Should I expect less or should I believe in you?Tell me my friend.I just want the best for you. I know, no one will understand what you are going through because we are simply not in your shoes. But, remember what i told you my dear, when you hurt yourself, you hurt the people around you.The people who love you, the people who care about your happiness...So tell me now my friend...what should I do? Should I expect less or should I believe in you?

STRESSED

This update is LONG overdue.Right Gwen?????haha. Well for starters, let me start with the week before this. Last week, on Friday(Sports Day) I think,Gwen and I went to the Woodlands Regional Library to do some research for our Country.Mind you,for now,we aren't talking about Singapore.If only it was Singapore, life would be so blissful.We are now delegates of South Africa and it has given us so much troublesproblemsheadachesstress that i just feel like dissolving the nation.Im serious.Ok wait, im going out of point here.Well, before we went up to the 2nd level of the Library, we passed a science exhibition.Being the curious KIDS we were, we started playing with all the exhibits. After a while, we ended up at the hexagon puzzle booth.This is where we have to put various shapes of all sizes together in a constricted space to form a hexagon.It was fun.We played for less than 5mins when we decided to walk around.Because we were considerate people and wanted to let the people behind us to give the puzzle a try too. After awhile, we came back to that same booth and saw a young girl ard the age of about 8 trying to solve the puzzle.He mum was helping her. Sweet you might declare.But....wait.There's more.We thought it was sweet too.But that woman was taking her own sweet time even though there were lots of people behind her who wanted to try a hand at the puzzle.If she had mumbled a sorry at least, Gwen and I would have felt contented to know that at least she is sorry for making us wait.But that F***ed up piece of shit did nothing.Not even an appology.Not even acknowledging our presence. After a while,that young girl left for some other booth.The woman continued to try. Try.and.TRY.We were still waiting mind you.With lotsa people behind us as well.After a while, that little girl came back again.She stepped on my foot and did not even have the courtesy to say Sorry.Well, at that point, I was already pissed.To the core.So, mum and daughter kept trying.N0n-stop.Oblivious to the fact that there were other people who were waiting to try as well. In the end,that f***ed up piece of shit and her daughter managed to solve the puzzle.Mind you, don't you come and tell me that they solved the puzzle by being determined and patient. The reason why they managed to solve the puzzle was because they realised that all the various blocks has numbers written on them and these numbers would aid in the solving of the problem if it is ordered sequentially.Even after solving the puzzle, that piece of shit still had the audacity to say loudly "oh, so easy, just place them in order.Even now, while im recalling the incident, my blood is still boiling.So F***ing inconsiderate.No wonder the daughter behaves like a brat too.Like mother,like daughter.BITCH.Overall, we spent 1hour plus waiting and waiting and waiting in an air-conditioned place with our stomachs empty.ARGH. Though we were pissed with that woman, we managed to go up to the 2nd level to search for resources.Found some useful ones.Still pissed.Went to cwp's popular after that cause Gwen wanted to get stationary to calm her down.There,I ended up playing hide & seek.All because I wanted to avoid seeing S.Haha,it was nerve-wrecking.Trying to hide and seek.Haha.Despite my attempts to avoid S, S saw me in the end.Shit happens.haha.Thanx Gwenie for playing Hide & Seek with me. So fun right?????Ya right.I never wanna go through it again. All the above happened on a single day-Friday. Now, to the current issues.South Africa's delegates are stressed.They feel like quitting.But, they know they can't.They have to perservere.Because of SMUN 2006, delegates of South Africa have been going home late like about 10plus for me and 9plus for Gwen.This has been happening for the past 1 week.Im in deep shit.Haven studied for Lit.South Africa has taken up too much of my time,too much of everything in actual fact.Well,the good news is that the position paper has been given the ok.Now,we just have to send it to the organisers.Bad news.... There's more shit to come.Its been a ride i'll never forget.Too much work in too little time. Gwen and I have already made plans to go to some beach on the last day of SMUN 2006 to scream our lungs out.We need it.Now I just feel too tired to even study for Lit.I know i should.N i probably will try to read something at least.But i guess that whatever that goes into my brain will just come out an hour later.Too tired to absorb.Too drained. Press on Gwen, rehearsals on Tues, till late I think.SMUN 2006 in about a week. It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles. - Claude M. Bristol

This week wasn't that bad even though I have not done what im supposed to do.Met up with my friend for dinner on Friday.Thank God for the Public Holiday.It was definitely a much needed break : )Went to Taka to get something for Gwendex.Had dinner at Swensen's to celebrate my friend's B'dae.His treat.Haha.As usual, i did not finish my food.Surprisingly, I couldn't even eat much of the ice-cream.After dinner, we basically slacked ard while waiting for the movie to start."when a stranger calls" is full of suspense, but in my opinion, there wasn't a plot.there wasn't a story.Just some crazy stranger who decided to make pranks calls to a babysitter who was babysitting 2 kids in a super huge mansion.After the movie, we went for a drink.Thanx to the alcohol, I had a proper sleep for once.A sleep where nothingness invaded my mind.Saturday was spent lazing ard and reading all the books that Jezz brought to my house.Now, its already Suunday and I have not done anything related to schoolwork.Sigh.



I sat in a meadow whilst a breeze blew across the fields.
Bolstering the sweet smells of timber and grass.
I close my eyes and with nothingness.
I feel.
I feel the unknown where you abide.
Where the simple joys ride the breeze, like the melody of your song.

As I sat, reflecting, I perceived shapes rescinding in form.
I sensed the oneness of life.
Then while sitting, a breeze commences to blow.
Purging from within.
It ensues across my hands.
I feel its' phenomenon in my heart.
I probe its' delights.
Like the songbird, my spirit sings in the valleys of my heart.
Its' hymn echoing through my soul.
Like indigenous sounds in a forest.
Brimming with Gold.

...

Your Japanese Name Is...

Mihoko Yoshida

What's your Japanese Name?

Your Irish Name Is...

Gemma Keane

What's your Irish Name?

I'm SORRY

Im sorry.I know we were supposed to meet at Kallang theatre today.Honestly, I'm just too tired to even step out of my room during the weekends because the weekdays in school have drained me.totally drained me.In the past, when i was in secondary school, resting was kept at a minimal because I felt that life is too precious for me to sleep too much only to be awake to realise that yet another day has passed.Now,sleeping is my favourite hobby.My only hobby. I know its time i caught up with you and the rest.I can't say much because I know another sorry wouldn't help.I'll make it up to you.I promise.Today was supposed to be a day where i would get to see my best friends, good friends and casual friends together, something which rarely happens. But i screwed all that by simply refusing to go.By cancelling out at the very last minute.I fervently hope that tomorrow's ice-cream plans will go according to plan because I promise to keep my promise.I promise not to cancel out even though laziness will drown me till sleep is inevitable. School's been getting boring.Both Miss Vyna and Mr Yeo screamed at my class on Thursday because we were not producing what we were supposed to.It sucks when teachers get angry.Blaming them for getting angry is simply out of the question because the root of the problem lies with us.It is indeed our laziness that sweetly tempts us not to do our work even though we know we should.Time is precious.The race is not over.The end is nearing.I have to start doing something productive.I have to start soon.real soon.All because the end is nearing.


I know saying sorry never helped and wouldn't help but honestly I'm truly sorry for not being there today.Being there with you guys.SORRY.

late.nights.early.mornings.


Leaving for AMK soon.after that will be shopping n lunch with 03.
homework's not done though i promised myself that by Friday i will clear something.
Hell ya, there's always Sunday where i can cram all my undone homework and hate myself for not doing everything earlier.
But, how for many weekends can i really forgo studying?
Because the A's is nearing.soon.
Its either.
Do.
Or
Die.

For all those who haven officially started studying.Pls START NOW!
Its our FINALS.
Its the Last Lap.
Its either...
We make it.
Or.
We don't.

And.
I'm SURE we'll all MAKE IT.

IF we STUDY...