Hmm,something to ponder about...

One of my grandfather passed away y'dae and if ya thinking why i said "one of..." instead of simply "my grandfather", i have to point out the fact that my family is BIG and i have lotsa grandfathers and grandmothers. The issue of Death is very sensitive and his death has set me thinking.Thinking real hard.

Many would see death as an end.An end to everything. But i feel that death is the beginning of another life somewhere else. Nothing and no-one lasts forever. Death is another journey or rather another path that everyone must take. No options given.Thats life. Everyday,every minute and every second, some1 is dying. Even now as i type, death is occurring within me in the form of cells which die and are being replaced by new cells. Death. Many fear it.Well, to a certain extent i do too. Sometimes the thought of death jumps on me unexpectedly and i feel as if i have no control about the wild scary thoughts that runs through my head. Death either brings people closer or it drives them apart. Just checked out this page www.deathclock.com and its scary after seeing how many seconds you have left in this world. Death is basically an idea that has no reality. We can never know the experience of dying. It always eludes us. It always sits behind our awareness, thus being real only in the death of others. Personally, i feel that people are more obsessed with the thoughts of death instead of living life to the fullest. What is it about death that sets people thinking? It is once again the curious mind i suppose. Some people regard death as Public Enemy No. 1 while some people are simply waiting to die coz of the sufferings that they are going through. I believe, death is not for us to decide. When it comes, it has to come. There is a time for everything.

Sometimes i wonder why some people even bother living, because they simply seem to live for others. What's the point of pretending to be someone you are not??? Isn't that lying to yourself??? People always say that they hate liars,but then should they hate themselves for lying to themselves? I believe in living for myself. People should just except you for the way you are. If you cannot accept me for the way i am, then thats just too bad for you coz im BOTHERED about living for myself and not for any1 else for that matter of fact.This is my life n its about me,not you! Never live the life you have for others. Live it like how YOU want it to be. Then i'll truly say that you are living life. If u live for others, you are not living life but simply you are an ACTOR in your own life. Sometimes in life, one gets confused by all de sudden twists and turns,but hey, thats normal. Confusion is part and parcel of life. Without confusion, there is definitely no kick in living life right? Be what you want to be,not what others expect you to be. I am living life the way i want to and this is just ME!!! Either you live with it or you can leave quietly. Sometimes i have a hard time understanding myself and there are times when i get deep in thoughts about myself that i forget about everything.I may not understand myself perfectly but i can safely say that i know myself well. I am what i am and that is all that i am. Accept me for who i am or leave me alone.Coz its my life and i'll live it the way i want to.

LoTsA LoVe...