It feels weird.On the other hand,it never felt right.even from the very start.

People change.its the truth.undeniably a fact too.I mean it has been bothering me for eons.it feels good to let it all out.to let my emotions show.to let the truth speak for itself.I can't possibly hide my feelings any longer.i can't run anymore.Yet,i can't stop to walk the road with you.sounds contradictory.but go figure.it makes sense.at least to me.I tried hard to ignore."Ignorance is bliss", the issue that always surfaces during my convo's with Euphe.Ran.Gwen.Gesh.Jeev.Others. Its indeed true that ignorance brings about a semblance of bliss but can we verily deny the fact that ignorance brings about mental torture too?the agonising debate that you have in your mind.to say or not to say.to do or not to do.I'm trying hard to follow the advice of MK and the rest of my 03 clique.its hard not to bother and to not be bothered.its hard to pretend that the world is perfect.its hard not to delve deeper into issues.But im gonna try.its a promise to them.the mark of a new ideology for me.the road seems long.the troubles seem never ending.the discordances never seem to stop.its a battle. within myself.around myself.its time to let it all go.time for a "brand new" start.the journey's definitely not gonna be easy.But i see a glimmer of hope.a ray of sunshine.faint light.

Finally, the damn depressing destruction of the mind boogling bloody block tests is over. its a screw up.im sure.a MAJOR screw up.shit happens.

I've been noticing something for quite some time.its bothering me.Thank God for the fantabulous wonderful friends.Friends who see me through each day with their words of wisdom and firm support. i treasure.i love.i care.

Its amazing how people can change and i mean CHANGE DRASTICALLY, within a period of 1 week. Well, i've made a decision after careful consideration.i'm gonna stand by what i believe.STRONGLY.FIRMLY.





I'm on my guard.

Comprehending.

Sometimes its really hard to comprehend why people behave the way they do. The world is selfish and denying that fact is just one of the superficial ways to escape from it. Selfishness is a disease, an epidemic.One that spreads and never stops until a kind soul of a different mentality sees it as their responsibility to change the typical mindset of most human beings. Life is short, so why not enjoy, smile and laugh till the cows come home, instead of bickering over the smallest things and hurling pain evoking words in anger? The nature of human beings is indeed one that is of controversy.Its complex, thus requiring one to be critical of oneself in order to understand the depth and perplexity of the entire issue. I was just reading an article about the complexities faced in the process of trying to understand a human being. Its not easy. I assume no one ever said it was. When people argue, for instance a boyfriend and his girlfriend, they would each automatically go, you simply don't understand me nor my feelings(this is just my assumption, though its a known truth). No one can ever understand another human being perfectly.Thats just how it is. Some people even find in tough understanding themselves.Its definitely not wrong if u can't understand yourself simply because understanding oneself comes from the trials and tribulation one faces throughout his journey of life. Well, experience matters. There's no point in shutting yourself out from the world, thinking that you'd be safe because experience in handling the complex issues of life comes from exposure to the world.

Its hard to let go.
But its even harder to move on.
Choices were made.
Hopes were dashed.
Dreams were wrecked.
Days became weeks.
Weeks became months.
Months became years.

The rest is history.

bits n pieces

Plaza Singapura.chicken rice.ice-lemon tea.chocolates.flowers.movies.talks.beach walks.chalet.bbq.letters.colours.taxis.142.music.magazines.Burger King.levis.law.coffee.hugs.chain.earrings.ring.orchard.starbucks.cheesecake.coffee bean.shopping.mp3.stingray.oyster omelette.wine.fried rice.vodka.8th december.smiles.long john silvers.davidoff.balloons.anklet.black.white.east coast.meridian.

Walking Aimlessly.

From Nadd

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of their target.

1) He's gotta love me for who I am
2) He's gotta be like me-->perfection of the imperfect
3) He's gotta be a real man.I mean it.A real Man.
4) He's gotta go running with me at 5am.
5) He's gotta have piercing deep eyes.
6) He's gotta be special,--One of a kind in this universe!
7) He must be the only one who catches my eye in a room full of guys looking like Brad Pitt.
8) Honesty is a definite must!

I can't really tag any1 on the above coz apparently every1 has done this b4. :(

Neway now for updates on my non-existent social life due to the wonderful long hours i spend in sch slacking. I should be putting in effort to listen during lectures. I should be doing my homework instead of blogging.I should STOP procastinating.Repeat!!!!no updates on my social life coz its simply non existent at the moment.

Walking.
Endlessly.
Watching.
Patiently.
Listening.
Carefully.
Whispering.
Softly.
Wandering.
Aimlessly.

Love.Appreciation.Friendship.

"But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life;and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine"
-Thomas Jefferson
Thanx a MILLION peeps for all the wonderful presents and the beautiful flowers.Special thanks to 05A23 for all the laughter,fun and warmth.

Valentine's day, a day for love and appreciation. But shouldn't love and appreciation be shown every single day?

The day was great, but my mind brought back the memories of the valentines we celebrated together. It was a great few years,full of rain, sunshine and warmth. Sometimes I ponder if things would have been better if I had just given us a second chance. But then again, as both you and I know, we are poles apart, in our thoughts,in our dreams and in our characters. Opposites attract? I beg to differ.

Last Year

Last year, on this day, I was at Orchard shopping for you with my gals.
Last year, on this day, I was at your place spending time with your family while awaiting the clock to strike 12.
Last year,on this day, when the clock struck 12, I was warmed by a big hug from you.
Last year,on this day, after your warm embrace, you made for me supper.I still remember it was tom yam noodles followed by a bottle of wine.
Last year,on this day, We had a long talk, shared our dreams with one another and believed that nothing could ever tear us apart.



I keep thinking about the memories i have of you, me and us.

Happy Valentine's Day People.Cherish all your loved ones coz u'll never know when they might be gone.

SCF.Silver paint.CNY.Homwerk.

The CNY holiday was actually quite a few days and i told myself that no matter what, i'll complete my homewerk.even if it kills me.But as usual(no surprises there) i did not even finish anything proper unless u count the poem analysis by Miss Baey which was due last Friday and 1 history summary which was due the week before last weekGreat,i am never going to stop being lazy. Arghhh!!!!!!!!!! I so terribly hate rushing through homewerk last min. Neway enough of my grumblings coz nothing can be done, except for me to stop procastinating and go and attempt to do something related to clearing that long list of overdued homewerk.

Now now, for more fun stuff! Updates about my CNY holiday!Heheh!
School on Fri was good.The concert wasn't that bad. Slacked at CWP with Serena n Gwendi for awhile before we had a mini deep conversation before we left for home.Ahem! Sometimes its an issue of mind over matter. Serena feels that if a certain sum1 and i have a certain something, we should just get together instead of me being wanting to be independent all the time. What she said made sense, but only to a certain extent.I can't afford to lose that friendship should things go wrong in our relationship. Well, now its just me and my 'A's. For now, Gwen n i share the same plan(inside joke).

On Saturday, i ended up at my aunt's place in CCK where i had food, oh more glorious food.I'm turning out to be such a greedy pig each passing day.But do i like give a damn about eating alot??? Honestly, not really! AS long as Gwen n I are together, its just food and more food baby.HeheH.
After dinner, i came home kinda late and basically slacked about till abt 4am coz i just couldn't sleep as usual. Sunday came and went by like a breeze.I spent the day reading, reading and more reading. Reading is like a great way to escape from reality, its better than alcohol,coz there aren't any wasted nights. But once again, alcohol rules too.Especially if u have great company like Bry and Co who are great drinking buddies coz they never seem to get drunk.i love u guys loads.Neway back to the topic of how i spent my CNY holidays : )

On Sat, Serena asked me if i wanted to go to de beach on Mon and i was undecided coz i promised Sanjeev Swensens.Ultimately in the end, i went to the beach with Gwen,Serena, Jud and Jud's BF.Was still kinda sick.All that flame stuck down my throat.But still i had fun.Took neoprints at Northpoint after which we headed to Sembawang beach.We shared a bacardi.Just for the fun of it. Serena's mum makes great BBQ chicken wings and im still attempting to find de secret ingredient. Took lotsa pics which will be uploaded later.Neway Jud's camera dropped after Geraldine helped us to take a photo. The side of the digi became dented and the paint was like coming out abit.The damage was obvious and thus the SCF went on a major quest for silver marker to paint back the chipped part of the digi cam. From sembawang beach, we took a cab down to sembawang shopping centre.Most of the shops were closed and we had no choice but to look high n low for silver paint in Giant. Our efforts went wasted though we tried to cover the chipped part by using some car thingy found at Giant. Having left without much of a choice, we took 2 cabs down to Jud's place. There i was like squeezing Gwen n pushing Serena in front of me coz of Jud's dog.lol.was a funny scene. Thank god there weren't any pics of my expression at that point of time.lol. Had lotsa stuff to eat and there was SUSHI!!!!!!!! dun drool kk? played taboo and yakked quite a bit. Jud and Sebast ended up at my place after that, coz i had to take my homewerk n clothes.They made Gwen jealous by taking pictures with my baby bro.haha.Den Jud n i proceeded to Gwen's house where we ate, yakked,did overdued homewerk abit and den Jud went to sleep. Gwen and i continued with our werk till our eyes couldn't take it anymore. But still we had a long, deep, lovely, thought provoking conversation.Remember our plan ok gwendi??? We went to bed at 5am+ and i woke up at 7am.Forced myself to sleep again and i woke up at 8, after which i woke Jud and she woke Gwen in turn. Had breakfast with Gwendi's family and we just yakked and joked.Damn fun.I like. All that talk about horoscopes to weight to school to food and sneak-ins.So random.So mucha memories. We slacked for awhile more before Jud and i left for home. I cancelled Iris's tuition coz i was too tired. Ended up at habourfront.Den in TB and finally back home where i slept for at least an hour plus. Now, im just blogging away though the load of homewerk on my table's scaring me.


Though i din't manage to finish all my homwerk, CNY holidays were GREAT with my SCF!!!!!!!! (inside joke) : ) Now its back to slacking for awhile more before i get down to econs. With lotsa love.