STRESSED

This update is LONG overdue.Right Gwen?????haha. Well for starters, let me start with the week before this. Last week, on Friday(Sports Day) I think,Gwen and I went to the Woodlands Regional Library to do some research for our Country.Mind you,for now,we aren't talking about Singapore.If only it was Singapore, life would be so blissful.We are now delegates of South Africa and it has given us so much troublesproblemsheadachesstress that i just feel like dissolving the nation.Im serious.Ok wait, im going out of point here.Well, before we went up to the 2nd level of the Library, we passed a science exhibition.Being the curious KIDS we were, we started playing with all the exhibits. After a while, we ended up at the hexagon puzzle booth.This is where we have to put various shapes of all sizes together in a constricted space to form a hexagon.It was fun.We played for less than 5mins when we decided to walk around.Because we were considerate people and wanted to let the people behind us to give the puzzle a try too. After awhile, we came back to that same booth and saw a young girl ard the age of about 8 trying to solve the puzzle.He mum was helping her. Sweet you might declare.But....wait.There's more.We thought it was sweet too.But that woman was taking her own sweet time even though there were lots of people behind her who wanted to try a hand at the puzzle.If she had mumbled a sorry at least, Gwen and I would have felt contented to know that at least she is sorry for making us wait.But that F***ed up piece of shit did nothing.Not even an appology.Not even acknowledging our presence. After a while,that young girl left for some other booth.The woman continued to try. Try.and.TRY.We were still waiting mind you.With lotsa people behind us as well.After a while, that little girl came back again.She stepped on my foot and did not even have the courtesy to say Sorry.Well, at that point, I was already pissed.To the core.So, mum and daughter kept trying.N0n-stop.Oblivious to the fact that there were other people who were waiting to try as well. In the end,that f***ed up piece of shit and her daughter managed to solve the puzzle.Mind you, don't you come and tell me that they solved the puzzle by being determined and patient. The reason why they managed to solve the puzzle was because they realised that all the various blocks has numbers written on them and these numbers would aid in the solving of the problem if it is ordered sequentially.Even after solving the puzzle, that piece of shit still had the audacity to say loudly "oh, so easy, just place them in order.Even now, while im recalling the incident, my blood is still boiling.So F***ing inconsiderate.No wonder the daughter behaves like a brat too.Like mother,like daughter.BITCH.Overall, we spent 1hour plus waiting and waiting and waiting in an air-conditioned place with our stomachs empty.ARGH. Though we were pissed with that woman, we managed to go up to the 2nd level to search for resources.Found some useful ones.Still pissed.Went to cwp's popular after that cause Gwen wanted to get stationary to calm her down.There,I ended up playing hide & seek.All because I wanted to avoid seeing S.Haha,it was nerve-wrecking.Trying to hide and seek.Haha.Despite my attempts to avoid S, S saw me in the end.Shit happens.haha.Thanx Gwenie for playing Hide & Seek with me. So fun right?????Ya right.I never wanna go through it again. All the above happened on a single day-Friday. Now, to the current issues.South Africa's delegates are stressed.They feel like quitting.But, they know they can't.They have to perservere.Because of SMUN 2006, delegates of South Africa have been going home late like about 10plus for me and 9plus for Gwen.This has been happening for the past 1 week.Im in deep shit.Haven studied for Lit.South Africa has taken up too much of my time,too much of everything in actual fact.Well,the good news is that the position paper has been given the ok.Now,we just have to send it to the organisers.Bad news.... There's more shit to come.Its been a ride i'll never forget.Too much work in too little time. Gwen and I have already made plans to go to some beach on the last day of SMUN 2006 to scream our lungs out.We need it.Now I just feel too tired to even study for Lit.I know i should.N i probably will try to read something at least.But i guess that whatever that goes into my brain will just come out an hour later.Too tired to absorb.Too drained. Press on Gwen, rehearsals on Tues, till late I think.SMUN 2006 in about a week. It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles. - Claude M. Bristol

This week wasn't that bad even though I have not done what im supposed to do.Met up with my friend for dinner on Friday.Thank God for the Public Holiday.It was definitely a much needed break : )Went to Taka to get something for Gwendex.Had dinner at Swensen's to celebrate my friend's B'dae.His treat.Haha.As usual, i did not finish my food.Surprisingly, I couldn't even eat much of the ice-cream.After dinner, we basically slacked ard while waiting for the movie to start."when a stranger calls" is full of suspense, but in my opinion, there wasn't a plot.there wasn't a story.Just some crazy stranger who decided to make pranks calls to a babysitter who was babysitting 2 kids in a super huge mansion.After the movie, we went for a drink.Thanx to the alcohol, I had a proper sleep for once.A sleep where nothingness invaded my mind.Saturday was spent lazing ard and reading all the books that Jezz brought to my house.Now, its already Suunday and I have not done anything related to schoolwork.Sigh.



I sat in a meadow whilst a breeze blew across the fields.
Bolstering the sweet smells of timber and grass.
I close my eyes and with nothingness.
I feel.
I feel the unknown where you abide.
Where the simple joys ride the breeze, like the melody of your song.

As I sat, reflecting, I perceived shapes rescinding in form.
I sensed the oneness of life.
Then while sitting, a breeze commences to blow.
Purging from within.
It ensues across my hands.
I feel its' phenomenon in my heart.
I probe its' delights.
Like the songbird, my spirit sings in the valleys of my heart.
Its' hymn echoing through my soul.
Like indigenous sounds in a forest.
Brimming with Gold.

...

Your Japanese Name Is...

Mihoko Yoshida

What's your Japanese Name?

Your Irish Name Is...

Gemma Keane

What's your Irish Name?

I'm SORRY

Im sorry.I know we were supposed to meet at Kallang theatre today.Honestly, I'm just too tired to even step out of my room during the weekends because the weekdays in school have drained me.totally drained me.In the past, when i was in secondary school, resting was kept at a minimal because I felt that life is too precious for me to sleep too much only to be awake to realise that yet another day has passed.Now,sleeping is my favourite hobby.My only hobby. I know its time i caught up with you and the rest.I can't say much because I know another sorry wouldn't help.I'll make it up to you.I promise.Today was supposed to be a day where i would get to see my best friends, good friends and casual friends together, something which rarely happens. But i screwed all that by simply refusing to go.By cancelling out at the very last minute.I fervently hope that tomorrow's ice-cream plans will go according to plan because I promise to keep my promise.I promise not to cancel out even though laziness will drown me till sleep is inevitable. School's been getting boring.Both Miss Vyna and Mr Yeo screamed at my class on Thursday because we were not producing what we were supposed to.It sucks when teachers get angry.Blaming them for getting angry is simply out of the question because the root of the problem lies with us.It is indeed our laziness that sweetly tempts us not to do our work even though we know we should.Time is precious.The race is not over.The end is nearing.I have to start doing something productive.I have to start soon.real soon.All because the end is nearing.


I know saying sorry never helped and wouldn't help but honestly I'm truly sorry for not being there today.Being there with you guys.SORRY.

late.nights.early.mornings.


Leaving for AMK soon.after that will be shopping n lunch with 03.
homework's not done though i promised myself that by Friday i will clear something.
Hell ya, there's always Sunday where i can cram all my undone homework and hate myself for not doing everything earlier.
But, how for many weekends can i really forgo studying?
Because the A's is nearing.soon.
Its either.
Do.
Or
Die.

For all those who haven officially started studying.Pls START NOW!
Its our FINALS.
Its the Last Lap.
Its either...
We make it.
Or.
We don't.

And.
I'm SURE we'll all MAKE IT.

IF we STUDY...

Get a Life

Its simply the simple things in life that matters. Took a long walk y'dae with Sil who put me back on track.who told me that ultimately no one matters.not her.not him.not they.but ME. It was that long walk with her that made me realise how much i miss HER.HIM.THEM. The people who have NEVER FAILED to be there. The ONES who MATTER. The ONES who CARED. Every Second. It amazes me how much we have all changed. From immature, childish kids to serious, mature adults. Though the rest are a tad older than me, it doesn't matter and it never did. Age was never an obstacle.To our friendship. Sometimes its extremely hilarious when i think about the stuff people do.or say.its just so ridiculous.PEOPLE BITCH.Non-stop. I won't deny the fact that i've bitched.but.there's a limit to what i've said or will ever say.Admit it.you bitch too.everybody bitches about anybody and everybody.thats just the harsh truth about life. There are indeed some people in this world who try hard to be neutral when problems arise.Some have succeeded in their quest to be neutral.Some have not. What I simply detest is people who try to be neutral by GOING AROUND telling everyone that they have NEVER BITCHED and will NEVER BITCH because its simply against their religion and principles. Some people pray before they eat because they want to thank god for the food. This shows that they truly believe in God and their religion. Its blatantly obvious that God would not want us to bitch about others. Then why do people who pray before they eat BITCH about others even though they go around telling people that BITCHING is against their principles and against God. This, i simply cannot understand. If u really wanna show that u are neutral and haven bitched, then KEEP UR MOUTH SHUT or else go bang ur head on the wall several times till u get some sense knocked into you, though its a tough job getting sense into the heads of people like u. seriously.i pity the wall. Its people like you who eavesdrop on other people's conversations and exaggerate what u hear. Exaggeration, i believe, is for people who have nothing better to do in their lives, thus causing them to exaggerate DRASTICALLY what they hear, just so that they can see the birth of conflicts. Go, GET a LIFE, PEOPLE! In the first place, eavesdropping on someone else's conversation is WRONG. Didn't your parents teach you that it is WRONG? Didn't your parents teach you manners? You claim that one of your parent is in a good high flying career.Then, why are u like that i wonder.I can't tell you to change your attitude simply because i don't have a right to. What i think you should change first is to stop eavesdropping on other people's convos, second would be for you to either stop bitching or stop telling people that u've never bitched and never will. Because thats an outright lie as you have bitched.alot.non-stop.ask anyone.They'll tell you the TRUTH.SO.GO.GET.A.LIFE.

I always used to say.him.her.them.people change.But.I don't think.I will.But.honestly.I did.I've learnt.a lesson.or rather.many lessons.bitter.sweet.harsh.refreshing.snapping me.back.to reality. I've seen.the truth.embraced.the wild.danced.under.the stars.beneath.the ever darkening sky.I've sung.songs.of.sorrow.happiness.I've touched.the sand.run it through.my fingers.felt the warmth.of.the sun.on my skin.played.in the rain.drenched.slept.under.the sky.dreaming.deep.flying.high.

It feels weird.On the other hand,it never felt right.even from the very start.

People change.its the truth.undeniably a fact too.I mean it has been bothering me for eons.it feels good to let it all out.to let my emotions show.to let the truth speak for itself.I can't possibly hide my feelings any longer.i can't run anymore.Yet,i can't stop to walk the road with you.sounds contradictory.but go figure.it makes sense.at least to me.I tried hard to ignore."Ignorance is bliss", the issue that always surfaces during my convo's with Euphe.Ran.Gwen.Gesh.Jeev.Others. Its indeed true that ignorance brings about a semblance of bliss but can we verily deny the fact that ignorance brings about mental torture too?the agonising debate that you have in your mind.to say or not to say.to do or not to do.I'm trying hard to follow the advice of MK and the rest of my 03 clique.its hard not to bother and to not be bothered.its hard to pretend that the world is perfect.its hard not to delve deeper into issues.But im gonna try.its a promise to them.the mark of a new ideology for me.the road seems long.the troubles seem never ending.the discordances never seem to stop.its a battle. within myself.around myself.its time to let it all go.time for a "brand new" start.the journey's definitely not gonna be easy.But i see a glimmer of hope.a ray of sunshine.faint light.

Finally, the damn depressing destruction of the mind boogling bloody block tests is over. its a screw up.im sure.a MAJOR screw up.shit happens.

I've been noticing something for quite some time.its bothering me.Thank God for the fantabulous wonderful friends.Friends who see me through each day with their words of wisdom and firm support. i treasure.i love.i care.

Its amazing how people can change and i mean CHANGE DRASTICALLY, within a period of 1 week. Well, i've made a decision after careful consideration.i'm gonna stand by what i believe.STRONGLY.FIRMLY.





I'm on my guard.